Midgard Awards: Spring Edition

Hey there cats and kittens, the end of the semester is upon us once again. "Alas," you may think to yourself, always one to wax dramatic - "soon it shall be summer, and I shall meander aimlessly, adrift in a sea of mysterious media.

If only the year-end awards would occur at the end of each semester, then mayhaps I could yet see another dawn.

First of all: calm down.

Secondly, far be it from us to allow such melancholic prose to go unheeded - take our metaphorical hand, and we will draw you up above the metaphorical waves.

Metaphorically. What does that translate to, for those of us who dwell not in lands of thoughtmagination, but in the real world? (where people who make up words like "thoughtmagination" are subjected to unmitigated ridicule) Well my friends, this can only mean one thing:

It's time for the Midgard Awards: Spring Edition.

For those unfamiliar with what precisely the hell that means, it's quite simple - we recognize the best media for what it is that makes it stand out, and offer up our top choice for the medium.

Obviously, opinions will differ, and we encourage you to send your hatemail constructive criticism to us at cauldroneditors@ hotmail.com.

Well then - tongue planted as firmly in cheek as we can get it to go, The Cauldron is proud to present the second Midgard Awards - the very best from this Viking Planet.

Television

Best show that was canceled anyway: Pushing Daisies

What's up network TV? God forbid you do anything interesting for an extended period of time. You had us worried - Pushing Daisies had a cool premise, and a refreshing artistic style. Pundits like myself were worried that maybe, just maybe, there was some hope for you. Thanks for reinforcing our pessimistic viewpoint.

Honorable mentions: Life on Mars, Boston Legal, Prison Break, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.

Show that most deserved to be canceled: Mind of Mencia

Do I even need to explain myself ? Even if poorly-thoughtout racial stereotype humor is your thing, just go hang out at a truck stop or something. Possibly related news: upon the canceling of Mind of Mencia, the average IQ in the United States raised by an average of four points. Coincidence?

(Dis)honorable mentions: Guiding Light, Frank TV.

And the Midgard Award for the best thing about TV goes to... Hulu

Yes, you heard right. (Assuming the article is being read aloud to you.) The best thing to happen to TV was getting it off of your TV, and on your computer, to view on your terms. Looks like the revolution will be televised after all.

Honorable mentions: The Daily Show, Fighting about whether Lost is good or not, Hitting said TV with a baseball bat.

Film

Best movie you probably didn't see: Gomorrah

How does one make a Ganster/Mob movie with five interconnected stories, no emerging heroic character, and an overall feeling of crushing helplessness and despair? Oh, and make it thoroughly engrossing from start to finish? Perhaps you shoot it in Italy, in a neighborhood where you can only shoot for a few hours in the morning before "crack made the people aggressive"? Whatever the formula, director Matteo Garrone's take on the culture of Italy's Camorra crime family holds you firmly in its grip, impossible to ignore. Kind of like the Camorra themselves.

Honorable mentions: Tulpan, Il Devo, Revanche, and honestly we could just type a bunch of non-english words here, and most people wouldn't notice any difference.

Best movie that people actually might have seen: The Curious case of Benjamin Button

David Fincher makes a commercial film. He ought to do this kind of thing more often. That is all.

Honorable mentions: Adventureland, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans.

And the Midgard Award for the best reason to spend hours in the dark goes to ... Watchmen

A polarizing film with more mainstream critics, we at The Cauldron were pretty effectively bowled over by the film. Sure, it tarnishes the canon of the source material. Sure, it dulls some of the edge. Sure, some of the wirefu feels artificially inserted. But at the end of the day, Watchmen was the kind of film where we left the theater smiling, and couldn't shut up about the film for days. There were more important films, grander in artistic scope and whatnot - but given a chance to see any of our winners again, the staff agrees: We'd watch the Watchmen.

Honorable mentions: Coraline, Gran Torino, Sugar.

Dishonorable mentions: Twilight, Dragonball: Evolution, Twilight, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li, Twilight, and also Twilight.

Video Games

Best game that had no right to be as good as it was: The Oregon Trail (iPhone)

It's been what, 20 years since kids were first playing this game in the classroom? But Gameloft's labor-of-love remake of the title that launched the edutainment genre is even more enjoyable than we remembered.

The gameplay additions and adorable graphics probably don't hurt. The only real problem is that it starts out too easy - getting to Oregon should make you swear, and curse the gods, but you've got to beat the game once to unlock any real difficulty. Once that's done, you'll be dying of dysentery with the best of them!