Noise Inspectors

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Beat The Devil's Tattoo

Dear boys in BRMC,

The title of your new album reminds me of the "beat the beats" thing from Jersey Shore. The first song on this album kills it and then you promptly fall off. I would've taken one from Costanza and left on a high note. I would be much happier if this were just a single with no following music.

On a completely related note, I can't believe this is your sixth studio album. That's a lot of time and money wasted on boring, no-depth commercialized "stoner" rock. Way to jam 4 cool words together to grab attention to your band name.

5.4 out of 10 boots.

Sincerely, boywiththeboot

Gil Scott-Heron - I'm New Here

Dear Mr. Scott-Heron,

This album is awesome. You still rule and your words drop bombs like this was Hiroshima.

Between you and producer Richard Russell, you have established a platform of relevant legitimacy for your words. Your poetry is heart wrenching and the whole album has a fresh Tom Waits vibe. Power is conveyed in every track. The music is completely raw and honest, lending to the compelling vox; bottomed out percussion and guitars that bleed blues without your standard 12 bars.

A few words of wisdom from you I would like to pass on:

"Being blessed is not just being able to float on air, I'm saying if you've gotta pay for things you've done wrong, uh…I've got a big bill coming at the end of the day."

"It's always easy to forecast other's doom."

This could be one of the greatest albums of the coming decade - almost flawless. You have established yourself as a great American poet, which is no small feat when you're still alive. Only retrospect reveals timelessness, but you've been lucky enough to make yourself a living classic.

9.2 out of 10 boots.

Time well spent, boywiththeboot

Gorillaz - Plastic Beach

Dear Gorillaz,

You have received much critical laud over your newest effort. People are cooing over Damon's post-Blur growth into a legitimate song writer. I also see that this isn't a fun pop-hop album. This is very serious composition with big-boy themes, I just don't buy it completely. The tracks themselves lose a lot of gravity at certain transitions and most of those changes aren't split up enough. I felt like I was running an important marathon, like a cure for something, but none of the scenery was changing and my motivation started slipping.

I really appreciate all of your attitudes in turning this from a gimmick cartoon band into a collective of sorts. You are pushing some musical boundaries; so good for y'all. Overall a well-thought out and honest effort, just not quite consistent enough.

The high points of the album come in star power - Mos Def, Bobby Womack, Lou Reed, and Snoop just to name a few. However, I do think that Lou Reed was underused and I'm curious: How much weed did it take Snoop to be down with rapping about pollution and not himself? Just meddling.

6.9 out of 10 boots

Forever yours in eggs and pollution, boywiththeboot

The Knife - Tomorrow, in a Year

Dear Knife,

Although your newest effort is an uber-modern opera based on Charles Darwin's "On the Origin of Species", it reviews more like the theory of relativity. If the album were on the moon, it would make no sense to me from the earth. That is to say, you have been a remarkably successful avant-garde pop band in the past, and this album makes no sense to today's pop fan.

But if you are already stationed on the moon, this album could overtake you. A fan of mind-lifting and genre-bending work, or a fan of operatic workings, could read your Tomorrow as genius. Within these constraints though, it's all a little hard to tell. The organic environmental noises recorded in the amazon can be taken as annoying filler or can lend to a stark experience. This album can play out two ways, and we are left to our own environments to decide how to swallow.

You have made an album that is not for anyone who exerts little patience, and is even difficult for those who are fans of traditional melodic aria's. Unfortunately, I don't see this debate being settled in your lifetime. Ever since your conception as a group, you have shunned mainstream anything and have pushed any limits of music. You have been in refusal to be received by the public, and Tomorrow, in a Year lends itself to that demographic. You're most ambitious work yet and it deserves an applause - but you must open your mind and sit on your hands for 90 odd minutes before you clap.

7 out of 10 boots.

Patiently, boywiththeboot